7 Sep 2012

Five Sentence Fiction: Memories

I seem to be living inside a song at the moment as all I can think about is music. Here is my contribution to five sentence fiction on the subject of memories.
Listen or read...
She was sick to death of people taking it upon themselves to point out that she came across as a very cold stand-offish person (how bloody dare they!), and hadn't she been through enough to warrant her behavior, didn't they reailse that she was fighting every day to maintain some semblance of stability and they could get lost if they thought that would change just because they suggested it.

She sat there in the cafe with her hands wrapped around the empty mug, clinging to the warmth as it slowly faded, the warmth that she no longer had in her life, and as she looked out the window at the passers by she gave a sigh of relief that she had survived another day.

Then, with no warning she felt her body begin to shake, her face was warm and her eyes stung and she reached up to find that tears were pouring down her face, tears that she had been fighting for what seemed like forever, tears that wouldn't come when she wanted them to but wouldn't stop now, tears that only showed her weakness and belied her strength.

The sobs followed, big gulping sobs, heart wrenching sobs full of abandonment and loneliness, sobs that too could not be held back, sobs that made the people in the cafe stare at her and start to leave, sobs that reminded her of a seals bark and made her wish that she could escape and swim away.

It seemed like forever had passed, but it couldn't have been more than a minute or so, when she finally managed to screech  "TURN THAT DAMN MUSIC OFF!" and very quietly under her breath "its breaking my heart..."


Hope you like it! I apologise now if I have bastardised my sentences! Oops!

22 comments:

  1. Impressive how you managed to fit all that in five sentences!

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    1. There are sentence police out there who would tell me that I am being rather creative with the concept - but I plead artistic license has been used! :)

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  2. That's powerful! That moment when a song unexpectedly rips you apart... Great stuff Kate!

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    1. Thanks Lisa, songs do this to me ALL the time - they spark a memory and that is pretty powerful especially when the quality of the song is irrelevant! lol.

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  3. A powerful rendition of that moment we all go through - it happened to me this week but thankfully I was at home, alone.

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  4. Thank you Sandra, it always catches you unawares.

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  5. Beautiful!
    Saniaheba.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you, and thanks for stopping by.

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  6. An amazing emotional story, nicely done :)

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    1. Hi Laura, thank you for your lovely comment and for stopping by.

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  7. Wow, Kate! Beautifully written and totally heart wrenching!

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  8. Really well done! I was wrapped up in her pain and sorrow; that final sentence is fantastic :)

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    1. Thank you, and thank you for the prompt!

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  9. Incredibly powerful - I just wanted one person in that cafe to feel her pain and go over an hug her (although I suspect she may have punched them if they had ;). Funny how a song can be playing in the background and suddenly it impinges on your conciousness and transport you to places you don't want to go.

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    1. I think that they were probably shocked and unsure of how to react - I imagine her with an austere appearance. Music is very powerful. Thank you for your kind comments and for stopping by.

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  10. Beautiful. As others have said, you totally nail that moment most of us have experienced when a particular song or piece of music slides into your ears and rips your guts out. Well done!

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    1. Hi Kern, thanks, I'm blushing now :)

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  11. Powerful stuff, Kats! You captured the moment perfectly and all in 5 sentences! I'm quite behind on your blog, I didn't know you were writing fiction, nice one! Looking forward to catching up x

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    1. I have told you :D You still have a long way to go to catch up! Good luck :)

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