28 Sep 2012

Write for Ten: Dump

This morning when I woke up I was ready to Write for Ten. I went to check the prompt to see what it was today – Dump – hmmm, I had no idea of where to start or even if I would be able to write anything. I think there is too much choice. I liked that about the setting prompt, that it had to be in a Police Station so I didn’t have to make any decisions other than to write with that in mind. With word prompts and so much variety I am finding it much harder – I am not a natural decision maker – and I am sure this is great practice for me.

So, I am sat here on my day off at 9.50am ready to get writing for 10 minutes, I am listening to my starred playlist from Spotify and the first song up is Amy Winehouse and Valerie….wish me luck…

‘its raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring’ she sang. The baby still screamed out as if she was ripping her arms out of their sockets. She began bouncing her on her knees and the crying stopped, she stopped the bouncing and the crying started again, she began bouncing the baby again. Her knees were aching but she was glad of the crying respite. Looking out of the window of the Caravan she could see the rain really was hammering down, the noise it made as it hit the roof and ricocheted off was almost deafening but she found it soothing. She looked down at the baby. The baby looked up at her. The baby’s face was damp with the tears that had just splashed down onto her cheeks, the eyelashes were all clumped together as though trying to keep warm and snot was slowly sliding from her nose to the top of her lip. The baby leaned into her mother and closed her eyes and at that moment she closed her eyes too. Just for a second.

He had promised her a life together, a home to share and raise their child in, but most importantly to her he had promised that he would always be there for her, whatever the weather. She looked at him lying asleep on the couch, his pale face and a body ravished by disease. At that moment he opened his eyes and looked at her and she looked back at him. He smiled. It didn’t matter if she lived in a dump she would be ok, but she needed him, he couldn’t leave her, how would she survive without him.

Ok, finished! My 1 year old niece is over and I think she inspired this piece with her screaming – the song now playing is War of the Worlds by Get Cape.Wear Cape.Fly.

Please leave feedback if you have time, it all helps Smile with tongue out and is greatly appreciated.

Thanks again.

Kate.

12 comments:

  1. Wow. There is a lot of intensity and emotion packed into very little space here. I like the vivid imagery and I could almost hear the baby crying, see him on the couch. Nicely done!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, I appreciate your comments.

      Delete
  2. Great as always :D... I loved the setting and the emotions in the air :D... and it's so true... no matter in what "dump" you are... as long as you have the ones you love and need with you everything is going to be fine :D
    Hugs, :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wonderful imagery, I saw the whole scene and then started crying when you described the husband. I watched my husband wither away to a shell thanks to cancer. You caught the feelings...well done!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I appreciate your comments and am pleased I was able to capture some of the emotion. Thank you so much.

      Delete
  4. Wha???????? No happy ending. YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME A HAPPY ENDING!!!!!

    Well done, Kate. Loved it. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I believe that every cloud has a silver lining, so maybe there is one! Thanks for stopping by.

      Delete
  5. I do like your writing style... and how you set up a mystery in only a few sentences.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Emrys, I really value each and every comment - and appreciate you coming over from the Twittersphere to have a quick read. No other musician does so you get one million kudos points!

      Delete
    2. Well... I only really dip my toe in twitter. I really do like your writing style though. You'll have to point me in the direction of other stuff you've done!

      Delete
    3. Currently, if you look at the pages list on the right-hand side you will see Five Sentence Fiction and Write for Ten. I've only just got brave enough to share it.My fave FSF are composure, awkward, zombie and devotion (the last three ended up as a series which is ongoing).

      Delete

I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. Spill the beans...

Popular Posts