7 Mar 2013

Five Sentence Fiction: Whisper

Morning!

Todays five sentence fiction prompt was whisper, and because I cam currently on tour with my eBook, I have decided to dedicate it to the Horror story half: Young 80.

These five sentences are not in the story, but I have taken a scene and written five sentences that could easily slot in. If you have read Young 80....do you think that this woud fit?

So without further ado....


An empty room can be so full your body is crushed into a ball.

A dark room can be so bright it burns your eyes.

A whisper can pass through you pulling at your senses; inhaling a hollow aroma, tasting the bitterness of nothing, seeing shadows swirl around, listening for an echo that won't come.

A cold room can make you sweat as if sat next to a furnace.

A silent room holds secrets that it never tells.

26 comments:

  1. A silent heart holds pain... beautiful words, appearances... ;-)

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    1. Thank you, I am glad you liked it.:)

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  2. Lovely sensory imagery - I particularly liked 'tasting the bitterness of nothing'. so much to experience in just five sentences, well done.

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  3. gosh, I was straight back into Young 80 so yes it fits perfectly.

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    1. Thank you :)and Happy Birthday x

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  4. Reads well and the senses are tested, I loved 'A silent room holds secrets it never tells'

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  5. Ohh, it fits really amazingly! And it's so intense, I love it :D

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    1. Thanks :) I hope you enjoyed Young 80 too?!

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  6. That sent chills down my back! A metaphor of so much...great writing, I loved the repetitive style!

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    1. Thanks Lisa, it is in the style of the horror story so I am glad it had that effect! Thanks for stopping by.

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  7. I haven't read Young 80, but I find this very expressive and poetic.

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    1. Thank you Jayne. Young eighty is one of the stories in my eBook and if you enter the giveaway you will be in with a chance of winning a copy! :D I appreciate your comments.

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  8. Nice! Few words yet stunningly powerful.

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  9. Wonderful words here that could easily be woven into a story. I particularly liked the last one, it could be an intro or an ending, or fit anywhere inbetween. Good writing!

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    1. Thank you Josie, it is an extension of a scene in Young 80 & I am pleased at how it would seamlessly fit into that and how it works here.

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  10. You are very poetic. I like this.

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    1. Thanks :) I have always written poetry and used to even before the fiction.

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  11. I love the use of metaphors and the flow with a dark, sinister feel . . very much a horror. x

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    1. Hey Lizzie thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment, I'm glad you could feel that darkness that I was trying to create.

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  12. thought provoking and poetic nice :)

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I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. Spill the beans...

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